Well, here it is...long awaited, My birth story! I hope all of my clients enjoy this. OK, now I really get it:)
When I look outside and see a beautiful cloudless blue sky I go back in my mind to the day of Paige’s birth. A week before my due date I attended Mountainfilm in Telluride. I stood in line and mingled with the crowd. People would say, “When are you due?” “Next week”, I replied. “Your not going to have the baby in this movie theater are you?” “Well if I do, I am in good hands, I am a midwife...” And thus went the conversation over the weekend. After being pregnant all winter and a prolonged cold and snowy spring I feel as though I emerged from my wintery cave to reveal my pregnant belly. It was a great sunny and warm weekend to get a little culture and socializing in before I settled into my birth cave. Little did I know the birth cave was already calling me. That Thursday, June 3 I awoke at 6 am and I got up to go pee. When I wiped I found some interesting discharge that looked like congealed chicken fat, hey! That’s my mucus plug. OK, that’s cool. I am going back to bed. When I laid down I was feeling crampy, like menstrual cramps and then I noticed I had 3 or 4 sharp cramps that were about 5 minutes apart. They faded away and I faded back to sleep. When Matt and I woke up around 9 I told him the news...something is brewing, maybe I will go into labor soon. We got up and sprung into action. We got the house ready and headed into Telluride to handle some errands that couldn’t wait. I set up the birth tub and felt really great, like everything was in order. That day I was really crampy, cramps and Braxton Hicks would come and go throughout the day. I went for a walk, showered and did chores. As we headed home from Telluride after dark I was hungry and tired...hmmm, something is happening:) That night when I went to bed around 10 pm I told Matt I thought tonight would be a bad night for sleeping, but I was tired and I went to bed. At 1:10 am I was awoken by sharp cramps, I thought, “Aw this is nothing for a first timer, I should try to sleep”. But I just couldn’t lie down. The cramps were sharp and painful when I was lying down but felt a lot better when I was standing. So I got up and headed for the couch, hoping Matt could sleep and be rested in the morning. I tossed and turned on the couch until 6 am. I had contractions that felt more like sharp, menstrual cramps every 5 minutes since 1:10 am. I was trying not to commit the cardinal sin of most first time moms, they never rest during early labor and then regret it down the line when they are exhausted and find that in retrospect the early contractions were pretty mild. But I just couldn’t rest! I was starving, so I ate a yummy breakfast of hard boiled eggs and an english muffin. I woke Matt at 6 am...”Hey babe, I’m in labor, I need your help”. Whoa, cool...Matt seemed excited, even though he was tired, poor thing, 6 am is not his favorite time of day. As soon as I was up and moving and Matt was awake the contractions didn’t hurt as badly. I called Marlene...I’m in labor! “Take your time and head on over, no rush, but I would love for you to be here:)” Matt and I scurried around filling the tub and dealing with the usual tub obstacles, hose won’t connect correctly, need more hot water, etc. After the tub was filled Matt went back to bed and I tried to as well. I was uncomfortable and rolling around in bed, sleep was not gonna happen. Matt and I were snuggling and got kind of turned on by the whole thing so we made love. I can’t believe I actually wanted to, but I did. I had to stop while I had a contraction but otherwise, it felt good. I told Matt I really just wanted the prostaglandins in his semen to soften my cervix:) Marlene showed up around 11 I think. We had a few visitors that morning/afternoon and surprisingly it didn’t bother me to have them there for a short time. I wasn’t ever bothered by Matt and Marlene chatting, we even watched some funny clips on You Tube that made me laugh. Unfortunately, it hurt to laugh. Almost all pain was localized in my lower abdomen, it was a very sharp and concentrated feeling. I chalked that up to early labor where my lower uterine segment was doing most of the work to dilate. Unfortunately, I got to a point later where that cramp never relieved itself in between contractions and I got really frustrated and drained by this constant “in between contraction” pain. But that comes later. Well, we all putzed around the house for most of the day and then realized it was a beautiful day and that we should get out and enjoy it, plus, I needed to walk! We made our way out to a hammock in the yard that our neighbor had put up. It is such a beautiful setting, nestled in the aspen trees. We walked out and I parked it in the hammock and enjoyed a relaxed, semi-sitting pose while rocking away the contractions. I don’t know how long we were there but things were starting to get a little trippy:) I had promised myself that unless something was noticeably different that I wouldn’t be checked until 5 pm. So I wanted to hang in there without knowing until then. Sometime in the afternoon I managed to eat a granola bar and a delicious little spinach salad. I was good about staying hydrated. For the past several hours I was having this constant cramp in between the actual contractions, it was pretty painful and tiring because I wasn’t getting real rest in between...time to try the tub! Ahhhhh! Words can not describe how awesome the tub was. Unfortunately, I got in the tub and was so relieved that I didn’t have another contraction for 45 minutes! Uh, oh! Probably too early to be in the tub. But hell! It felt so good I didn’t care. It was a nice break but we needed some progress. At this point I was poking around in my own yoni to see how dilated I was...I think I am a 4, bummer! Matt and Marlene checked me and agreed, they were really great about turning the tables on me, “Hey! 4 cm is awesome, you are doing great! You are doing it Reb, keep on truckin’” Maybe we will have a baby tonight?! Marlene suggested that we rest. Good idea but that was pretty hard because when I laid down the contractions got sharp and more painful. I squirmed around in bed and seemed to get cookin’ a little more. Matt suggested we make love again...I don’t think so buddy! Too ouchie to even consider lying down. Good idea though, I think that it really helped early in labor. Then I really started squirming, I was up and down and all around at that point. The thought of lying down and resting was so alluring, occasionally I laid down on the paco pad we had set up for the birth but that often only lasted a few contractions. Standing and squatting were my two favorite positions, oh and being in the tub of course! That was my saving grace. From then on out until the birth I was in and out of the tub. At around 6 pm we were all getting hungry so Matt went over to the hotel and picked up burgers for us. I managed to eat a little bit of mine while I was in the tub, but food was becoming less desirable. It didn’t bother me at all for Matt and Mar to eat their burgers as they sat right beside me, and it didn’t bother me if they talked. In fact, I was surprisingly tolerant of smells and sounds over all during labor. At some point the smell of my burger started to bother me and the music that was playing was not what I wanted...I was getting a little edgy. As darkness fell I really started cooking. I found myself having what I called “bladder contractions”. They weren’t real, 100% contractions, but when my bladder was full I would contract, and it was slightly painful until I emptied and then it would subside. I had those in addition to regular contractions, so that was fun:) I spent a lot of time on the toilet peeing. Earlier I had diarrhea when labor first started, that irritated my little anus and caused some hemorhoids that I didn’t even know I had to flair up. I experienced a lot of butt pressure and pain throughout my labor, it sucked! When I wasn’t in the tub I was wandering around the house in a mildly delirious state. I would check in with Matt and Mar and occasionally comment, but for the most part we were all very quiet, it was a very peaceful setting. I remember looking out the window as it got dark thinking, “I don’t want to do this all night.” Fortunately, I didn’t have to...at some point I wanted to be checked again, I kept trying to check myself but I always thought I was 2 more cm dilated than I really was b/c it is so hard to feel the back of your own cervix:) I thought I was 8 cm:) Mar said I was 6...I thought I was 10 cm, Mar said I was 8 cm...and so it went. When I was around 6 cm I was in the tub and started to get a little emotional. I had the craziest contraction that just made me cry uncontrollably, heaving with sobs and having a hard time breathing. I kept saying, “I’m OK, I’m OK”, I held one of Matt’s hands and one of Mar’s and was basically holding on for dear life. At this point I really felt labor was happening to me, over taking me...I was now just along for the ride. I looked into Matt’s eyes and saw tears welling up in them, he hated seeing me in that much pain he later said. At this point I remember being very lucid, I remember a lot of detail from that time. I remember looking around the room at the artifacts of my life, feeling like they were in the distant past. I thought, “some day I will use the computer again.” At one point I think I said, “ I just want my life back!” I paced and circled through my bathroom and bedroom, occasionally collapsing onto the bed, only to scramble to my feet before another contraction came b/c lying down hurt so much worse than standing. At one point I said, “ I am gonna really need you guys”, and they said, “What do you need?” But I meant, I just NEEDED them to be there for me! They understood:) I was starting to feel some rather convulsive, pushy feelings. The contractions were really making me bear down. We checked and I was 8...I wanted to be 10!!! I was sitting on the toilet and I tried to check myself again, I could feel a little bulging bag of water and the “beak” of my cervix in the front. That is what it felt like, a rigid little point of tissue. I squirmed around for quite a while before proposing to Mar that, “Maybe we should break my water?” My awesome midwife threw back my own advice right on to me...”once you break the water, you can’t go back, we don’t want to mess with mother nature, it could affect the baby’s position, it will go when it is ready.” Ah, I felt better...trust Rebecca, trust. So I got back into the tub for some relief, after sitting on the toilet poking around in my yoni trying to snag my bag of waters:) This time, the tub was providing very little relief. I was grunting and convulsing in the tub. I think the contractions started to space out and I caught myself falling asleep in between some of them. When finally, my bag broke and a puff of clear fluid rushed into the tub water...I am almost there! I couldn’t stay in the tub any more, I wanted to get out and get down to business. I am not sure how much time passed. I couldn’t help but push. I was standing and I looked up at the clock, it was 1 am. OK, I thought, I have been at this for 24 hours now, time to have a baby. I knelt down on the pad and started pushing seriously. I t didn’t seem like much was happening at first. I could barely keep myself upright. I took some on my side and some on hands and knees. Marlene had been at the ready, but upon seeing me lying on my side and seemingly having a hard time coordinating my pushes, she took off her gloves, knowing it could be a while. At that point I grabbed onto Matt, I was kneeling, he was holding my hips and I was holding his shoulders. I pushed SO HARD...we heard a loud POP! I felt it & Matt could feel it resonate through my body and even Mar heard it. “I think I broke my tail bone”, but at that point I didn’t care, and honestly, it didn’t hurt. Overall, pushing didn’t really hurt. It was intense in an undefinable way, there was so much pressure, you have no choice but to move the baby down. After that pop, I really started moving the baby, I felt her head descend...and here she comes, I was reaching down touching her head as it emerged...Matt readied his hands and began feeling her head too. I feel as thought I slowly, and deliberately let her head slide out...and I did a great job, I didn’t tear!!! I pushed out her head in about 1 or 2 pushes. There was a pause and I leaned forward onto hands and knees as Matt gently guided her to the ground. That was perfect b/c I needed to sit back and swing my leg over her so that I could pick her up. Matt and Mar handed her to me...I was immediately HIGH! I can’t believe the high you get from birth, it is so great, better than any drug because you have actually accomplished something. I just scooped her up and snuggled her, amazed! Matt got out the camera and took some photos...we were ecstatic. My midwife brain kicked in when it was time to deliver the placenta. I think it took a while to deliver, although I am not sure how long. I remember Mar gave me some Angelica to help it along. I will have to check with her on this but I think I finally delivered it myself after following the cord up to ID its location. I remember we cut the cord before it was delivered b/c she had a relatively short cord and I was having a hard time getting her up high enough on my chest and getting us both comfortable. After the placenta was delivered my bleeding was no problem. We encouraged Chica to come over and meet her new sister. She was pretty uninterested. She was in her bed during the last stages of labor just hanging out while mama was birthing, so casual:) After we snuggled and got comfy on the pad she began nursing right away, I think about 15 minutes after birth. She has no problems with nursing that is for sure. I felt so great I was able to get up and make it into the bathroom after handing her off to Matt so they could get acquainted. That was a really sweet sight to behold. We just weighed her at that point, 7 lbs 10.5 oz. She was pretty fussy so I showered and brushed teeth and got into bed to try to make her cozy and nurse her. Just before bed I had some of Aemonn’s burger from earlier, that was a real treat! I was so hungry. The little critter only slept for 2 hours on my chest, then she needed to change position. The bed was tough b/c my tail bone was becoming increasingly painful! We got up and went in to the green chair and snuggled for another couple of hours...Mar slept through all of our fussing and squirming. At 8 the Lindauers came over b/c they couldn’t stand to stay away b/c they were headed to Mrose that day. I was thrilled for them all to come by. They said a quick hello and met the little critter, then Mar and I took care of some biz...Rhogam and Vit K, etc. While we tried to let Matt sleep. After cleaning up and getting just 4 hours of sleep, Mar slipped away and I went back to bed. Then I really slept and so did the babe, I think we woke around 11. Then it was on with our day! And what a day, I was beaming, and so was Matt. Here she is, our little critter.
